Here r some jokes i found about how much the Hokies suck. Some of them r kinda dumb, but i think most of them r pretty funny........
Q: Why do Va. Tech grads hang their diplomas on their rear view mirrors?
A: They have to show some proof that they deserve to park in that handicap parking space.
There's a guy from UVa (Wahoo) driving from Charlottesville to Blacksburg, and a guy from Va Tech (Hokie) driving from Blacksburg to Charlottesville.
In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Hokie manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise the Wahoo scrambles out of his car and looks at his wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!"
The Hokie walks over to the Wahoo and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals." The Wahoo thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm gonna see what else survived this wreck."
So the Wahoo pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jim Beam. He says to the Hokie, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our new found understanding and friendship." The Hokie says, "You're damn right!" and he grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jim Beam. After putting away nearly half the bottle the Hokie hands it back to the Wahoo and says, "Your turn!"
The Wahoo twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up
(haha, really funny)
A ventriloquist from Virginia walked into a bar just off the Virginia Tech campus and asked the manager if he could do a little performance. The manager thought no harm could be done and agreed. The ventriloquist grabbed a stool, sat down and began telling jokes about the Virginia Tech football team. Suddenly, a huge man wearing an Virginia Tech T-shirt walked over and said, "Listen buddy, I don't know who you think you are telling all these jokes about our football team. I for one will not put up with it!" The ventriloquist quickly appologized and said he would leave. The large man exclaimed "I'm not talking to you! I'm talking to that little man sitting on your lap!"
Q: What happens when you tell a Hokie it's chilly outside?
A: They'd run outside with a bowl and spoon.
Q: How do you confuse a Va. Tech Hokie?
A: Give a him/her a pack of M&M's tell 'em to alphabetize them.
Q: What did the Va. Tech Hokie football team get on their SATs?
Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a Va. Tech Hokie?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
How many UVA students does it take to give a Tech student a swift kick in the ass?
Just one. But others are welcome to join in.
(that sounds like fun!!!! JK)
Did you hear that a VT player was almost killed in a tragic horseback-riding accident?
- He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death.
Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.
What are the best four years of a VT student's life?
Did you hear about the power outage at the VT library?
- Forty Hokies were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Did you hear about the fire in VT's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
- The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
How do you make Hokie cookies?
- Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours!
How many VT freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
- None, it's a sophomore course.
What's the difference between a Hokie and a carp?
- One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
A UVA fan and Va-Tech fan are in the 1st grade. Which one is bigger?
the Va-tech fan because he is 18 years old
Q: Why was the VA Tech football team late for their last game in Blacksburg?
A: Every time their bus passed a sign that said 'Clean Restrooms', they did.
A VT fan called the hospital saying "My wife is having a baby, what should I do?"
The nurse asked, "Is this her first baby?"
The Hokie fan replied, "No, this is her husband."
Q: What did the VT Hokie fan do after coming upon a stop sign in Blacksburg?
A: I don't know - he's still there.
A first grade teacher in Blacksburg VA , explains to her class that she is a Hokie fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are hokie fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl...
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, " Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Hokie fan " she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked "Well, if you are not a Hokie fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I am a Cavalier fan," Janie replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, WHY are you a Cavalier fan?"
"Because my Mom is a Cavalier fan, my Dad is a Cavalier fan, so I am a Cavalier fan also."
"Well" said the teacher, in an obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a Cavalier fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all the time. What if your Mom was a snotty arrogant jackass and your Dad was a snotty arrogant jackass, what would you be then?"
"Then" Janie smiled,"We'd be Hokie fans."
(LOL, this is my fav, i would totally do something like that)
Hear about the hokie fan who lost $50 on the football game?
He lost $25 on the game and $25 on the instant replay.
Two hokie scholars were walking through the woods and came upon a set of tracks.
The first VT scholar said "Those are deer tracks."
The second one said "Nope, they're too big for deer tracks. They must be elk tracks."
As the debate raged on they were hit by a train
What is the difference between the hokies and Rice Crispies?
Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.
Why did the hokie get fired from the M&M plant as a quality control inspector?
He kept throwing out all the W&W's!
An Hokie got a job at an east Blacksburg sawmill. Just before lunch on his first day, he lost a finger. When asked how he lost it, he replied, "I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi...MAN! There goes another one!"
There were three hokies huddled around each other at a local bar. All of a sudden, they jumped up and yelled,
"Yeah, 45! 45!" The bartender goes down to them and asks, "45? What are you guys so excited about?"
One of the hokies speaks up: "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. The box said 2 to 3 years, and we did it in 45 days!"